A couple weeks a go, my office issued an assessment on me. According to my supervisor I’m:
Positive:
- Punctual
- A good reporter
- Cooperative
- Meeting deadlines
- Helpful
- And so on and so forth…
Negative:
- Lack of initiative
- Have to work in self confidence
- Lack of concentration
- Have to improve in grammar.
I’m not here to write about my positive aspects (Come on! It’s all common sense for a worker… Hello!!!). Let’s talk about the negative…
Actually, it’s all based on one thing and one thing only. I only have to improve this thing and they all will come around… Something that I can’t seem to get a hold of is my concentration.
From the beginning I know about the term know-your-self, I know that concentration is the one I’m lacking of. But I never know that this little thing could affect everything in my life.
I know that I have a wide range of knowledge. I know about sports, movies, politics, law, music, techno, graphic design, culture, language, religion, history etc… I used to be proud of it but none of them made me curious to dig deep. I don’t have any specialty.
As I analyzing me self it came back to lack of concentration. Let’s put it like this.
As I’m watching football match on TV, my mind started to wonder about the movie Goal! (Starring Kuno Becker by the way) then when I think about movies, I started to think about the movie I like (i.e. Band of Brother), then I’l started to think about how war will destroy everything then my will started to think about famine – bulimic – Nicole Richie – Hollywood – culture – arts – religion – occultism etc etc…
See… My mind sometime wanders off somewhere and I can’t control it. When my mind wanders off it’s hard for me to get back to the first thing I do… Seriously, I can’t help it….
Okay, continue…
Lack of initiative.
I have this some kind of believe… Never volunteer for anything. Because you’ll ends up ruin everything. So you would never see me volunteering in any kind of occasion. Well, sometime I do volunteers, once every blue moon.
To have a good initiative you have to get a good self confidence which I’m also lacking of…
Lack of confidence
What is confidence? Freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities (wordweb). Freedom from doubt. I always doubt everything!!! Belief in your self and your ability. As I said before, I can’t rely on my ability because I only know the basic.. I always second thought my self. And ends up let some one decide things for me because I don’t believe my self know what good for me.
Sounds Pathetic huh???
My life has been one great big joke,
A dance that's walked
A song that's spoke,
I laugh so hard I almost choke
When I think about myself.
(Maya Angelou)
