An Assessment on my assessment from my workplace

A couple weeks a go, my office issued an assessment on me. According to my supervisor I’m:
Positive:
- Punctual
- A good reporter
- Cooperative
- Meeting deadlines
- Helpful
- And so on and so forth…

Negative:
- Lack of initiative
- Have to work in self confidence
- Lack of concentration
- Have to improve in grammar.

I’m not here to write about my positive aspects (Come on! It’s all common sense for a worker… Hello!!!). Let’s talk about the negative…

Actually, it’s all based on one thing and one thing only. I only have to improve this thing and they all will come around… Something that I can’t seem to get a hold of is my concentration.

From the beginning I know about the term know-your-self, I know that concentration is the one I’m lacking of. But I never know that this little thing could affect everything in my life.

I know that I have a wide range of knowledge. I know about sports, movies, politics, law, music, techno, graphic design, culture, language, religion, history etc… I used to be proud of it but none of them made me curious to dig deep. I don’t have any specialty.

As I analyzing me self it came back to lack of concentration. Let’s put it like this.

As I’m watching football match on TV, my mind started to wonder about the movie Goal! (Starring Kuno Becker by the way) then when I think about movies, I started to think about the movie I like (i.e. Band of Brother), then I’l started to think about how war will destroy everything then my will started to think about famine – bulimic – Nicole Richie – Hollywood – culture – arts – religion – occultism etc etc…

See… My mind sometime wanders off somewhere and I can’t control it. When my mind wanders off it’s hard for me to get back to the first thing I do… Seriously, I can’t help it….

Okay, continue…

Lack of initiative.
I have this some kind of believe… Never volunteer for anything. Because you’ll ends up ruin everything. So you would never see me volunteering in any kind of occasion. Well, sometime I do volunteers, once every blue moon.

To have a good initiative you have to get a good self confidence which I’m also lacking of…

Lack of confidence
What is confidence? Freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities (wordweb). Freedom from doubt. I always doubt everything!!! Belief in your self and your ability. As I said before, I can’t rely on my ability because I only know the basic.. I always second thought my self. And ends up let some one decide things for me because I don’t believe my self know what good for me.

Sounds Pathetic huh???

My life has been one great big joke,
A dance that's walked
A song that's spoke,
I laugh so hard I almost choke
When I think about myself.
(Maya Angelou)

This is the guy that I'm going to marry
Christoph Metzelder, a guy from Germany.
Facts:
- Plays for Madrid (one of my most hated club)..

- Heard that he grows beard and will never shave it till his injuriy cured...

- Once, so close to inter... Dang!!!

- Plays Cello

- Turns 28 this November...

Gyaaaaa!!! (fangirl scream) *nose bleed* XD!!!!

Battle Between Idealism vs. Stability

It happens again...!!!

The battle between my Idealism and Stability… And the winner is…..!!!

Stability….!!!

So.. The stands are Stability: 3; Idealism: 0….

Guess we couldn’t live based on idealism alone, Ne?

Awkward with Blogger new look...
Have to learn Indonesian...

Another Suitcase in Another Hall

I don't expect my job affairs to last for long
Never fool myself that my dreams will come true
Being used to trouble I anticipate it
But all the same I hate it, wouldn't you?

So what happens now? (Another suitcase in another hall)
So what happens now? (Take your picture off another wall)
Where am I going to? (You'll get by, you always have before)
Where am I going to?

Time and time again I've said that I don't care
That I'm immune to gloom, that I'm hard through and through
But every time it matters all my words desert me
So anyone can hurt me, and they do

So what happens now? (Another suitcase in another hall)
So what happens now? (Take your picture off another wall)
Where am I going to? (You'll get by, you always have before)
Where am I going to?

Call in three months time and I'll be fine, I know
Well maybe not that fine, but I'll survive anyhow
I won't recall the names and places of each sad occasion
But that's no consolation here and now.

So what happens now? (Another suitcase in another hall)
So what happens now? (Take your picture off another wall)
Where am I going to? (You'll get by, you always have before)
Where am I going to?

Don't ask anymore......

~Evita, The Musical~

Ya ampun.. ternyata masih bisa dipake..... Takjub.. takjub sayah...


- sekian -
Cuma mau cek doang sih...

SAKSI SEJARAH SODARA-SODARA, SAKSI SEJARAH...

Jika kau melihat F-1 di brazil kmaren maka kau dan aku, serta berjuta-juta orang lainnya yang nonton menjadi saksi sejarah lahirnya JUARA DUNIA TERMUDA!!!!!
Fernando Alonso.....!!!!!! Juara dunia termuda, orang Spanyol pertama yang dapet gelar kebesaran tersebut.... OHohohohohohohohohoho.........
Ngomong2 soal orang muda... Ada banyak orang muda yang udah jadi kaya... Hebat ya?
Ada Lionel Messi di Barca, Martins di Milan, Freddy Highmore, Dakota Fanning, Macaulay Culkin pada jamannya dsb, dst. Mereka semua udah pada bisa ngehasilin duit berjuta2 diusia yang msh sangat sangat muda..
Sementara.. gw cuma bisa menatap masa depan yang masih berkabut tebal dengan penuh pengharapan '"I hope I don't messed up everything'.....

"Don't think about what the world could give you, but what can you give up to the world"

This Post Consist of Some Offensive Languange
(Sorry for The Inconvinience)

BRENGSEK!!!!!!
Mulai dari sekarang gw cuma melakukan sesuatu berdasarkan baik buruknya buat gw....

There more fools in the world than there are people.

I Like Eep Op..
Sudah empat hari ini kakiku serasa mau putus. Jalan jalan di Jakarta yang ternyata loas banget!!!! Muter2 Glodok dan Kota Tua.. Is it fun? Of Course!!!!! :)
Hmm... Jalan2 tersebut dimaksudkan untuk menemani londo2 yang berkunjung ke sini. 2 Italian guys, a pair of Finnish (ohoho Tya!!), one German girl, and a spanish girl. Selese jalan biasanya kita nongkrong2 dulu sbelom pulang. Nah dalam pernongkrongan ini, salah satu temanku ada yang bertanya "So... (oh tak etis saya menyebut nama), what's your favorite music?" sibule yang berasal dari Itali pun menjawab... "E..h I like eep-op..", Reaksi kami... Bengong.. "I like Eep-op". beberapa dari kami pun akhirnya paham. Namun temanku yang bertanya ini "So, E-pop, it's like what? Electronic-Pop?". Lalu meledaklah kami. "No..No.. No.. It's H-I-P...Oooh... Mind my pronounciation ....(nama lagi)". Bule Bodooooooooooooh...... Hehehehehehehe.. Ke'lugu'an si Bule ini dapat termaapkan karna dia penggemar Inter!! (haha Irma!!).
Oh sebelumnya gw juga minta diramal. Dan Katanya...
"

Oh.. Shio Tikus. Tikus yang tinggal di langit-langit rumah. Hmm.. Pinter cari duit nih. Tapi kalo kerja gak pernah selese. Ngerjain kepala, buntutnya enggak. sama anaknya ntar juga kurang cocok. Sama orang tua juga sering beda pendapat. Untuk buang hal2 negatif tuh, musti cari orang tua angkat."

Oh.. Sedih hatiku....
BTW, itu ramalan, dari pinter cari duit to end, buat semua yang lahir taun 84.

Akhir sebuah penyiksaan selama 2 hari satu malem
Benarkah orang tua menolak untuk menyadari jika anaknya telah tumbuh menjadi orang dewasa? Oh.. Atau Umur berapakan seseorang sudah dianggap dewasa??
Jika anda menjawab batasan umur untuk dianggap dewasa adalah 17 tahun (udah dapet KTP, udah bisa nonton pelm dengan rate-R), mungkin untuk beberapa orang tua hal ini mungkin dapat di setujui.. Namun jika kau tanyakan pada orang tua-ku nan kolot nian... Wiuh!!! Jangan tanya... Gw yang sudah tua bangka kaya' begini.. Masih juga dipaksa untuk ikutan Family Gathering kantor bokap!!!!! Idih!!!
Sebenernya gw dah menolak dari jau hari.. Namun seperti biasa, bokap kena PMS jadi ngambek... gak dikasih uang, gak dikasih bawa mobil... Sengsara daah.... Jadi aku pun ikutan...
Hasilnya..
Para teman bokap mengira bahwa daku masih bersekolah!!!! ("Wah.. Saya kira masih kelas 2 SMA..", "gimana ujian SPMBnya? Masuk kemana?").... Eheheheheheh... (tertawa sinis plus pahit.....)
Sedangkan anak-anak mereka yang rata-rata berusia lebih muda 10 tahun dari gw, mengira bahwa daku ini pegawai kantor. ("Tante.. Emang gamenya apa aja sih?)......Ehehehehee...(sekali lagi tertawa pahit....)
Kesimpulan.... I HATE FAMILY GATHERING.......
HIK!!!!!

Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.
Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856)

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.
Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it.
You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.
In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

Somewhat ada benernya juga....

dari www.blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz

INTER CAMPEONEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Terakhir Juara 1982 sekarang taun 2005......... lapan kurang lima.... 23 tahuuuuuuuuun!!!!! apa ini siklus juara INTER? Jadi Scudetto Baru bakal dinikmati setelah 23 tahun..? 1989 tambah 23.....2013!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bujud!!!! Bukan.. Bukan... Bukan... Bukan siklus berarti...
Taun depan Harus Scudetto!!!
Beritanya Pencetak ol kemenangan INTER mo pensiun taun 2006... Thanks Old man.. Kasian kau Tiwi... Satu lagi Idolamu yang pensiun....
Nasib Mihaljovic udah pasti.. Gimana nasib Emre ku si penghianat ya....?

Pusing Sayah....
Kok skin ini lucu tapi bikin bingung yak...?
Pusing sayah....
Mana Prenster ga bisa dibuka...
Pusing sayah...
Bukan maen...
pusing sayah....
Hmmmm....
Pusing sayah.....
Tak ada yang lebih menyedihkan dari hidup..
Pusing sayah...
Puhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing....
Apa ya yang ga bikin pusing....
*#&^%$#!@#%%^^&*(()()*&^%$#@!~!@#$%^
Au..Au..Au..Au..Au..Au..Au..

Nada dasar J, tempo 140...
Cipt. NN

Baru Nih....

...Gli Sembró Piú Dolce Anche La Morte...*

Pusiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kenapa harus ada Ujian akhir A.K.A TKA??? Bikinnya sih senang, namun..... Sidang dan segala bentuk tekanannya oh aku tak tahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


For the other part of me who had gone recently

Come out moon Come out wishing star
Come out Come out Wherever you are

I’m out here in the dark All alone and wide awake Come and find me
I’m empty and I’m cold And my heart's about to break Come and find me

I need you to come here and find me
Cause without you I’m totally lost
I've hung a wish on every star
It hasn’t done much good so far
I can only dream of you Wherever you are

I’ll hear you laugh I’ll see you smile
I’ll be with you just for a while
But when the morning comes And the sun begins to rise
I will lose you
Because it’s just a dream
When I open up my eyes I will lose you

I use to believe in forever
But forever is to good to be true
I've hung a wish on every star
It hasn’t done much good so far

I don’t know what else to do
Except to try to dream of you
And wonder if you are dreaming too
Wherever you are

".. Must be strangely exciting to watch the stoic squirm....."
~Alanis Morisette, Uninvited~

sto-ic [sto-ik]
somebody impassive: somebody who appears unaffected by emotions, especially somebody admired for showing patience and endurance in the face of adversity

im·pas·sive [im pássiv]
1. expressionless: showing no emotion, especially on the face
2. devoid of all emotion: feeling no emotions at all, either positive or negative

Microsoft® Encarta® Reference Library 2003. © 1993-2002 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

Gak tau ya... Akhir-akhir ini, sepertinya kedua kata itu bener-bener represent me. Gw sadarnya juga baru-baru ini gara-gara suatu kasus (tau kan?). Tapi kalo dipikir lebih jauh, dari SD sampe sekarang baru sekali gw nangis didepan umum, gara-gara HP g ilang (itu pun rada telat). Selebihnya, boro-boro (boro-boro bahasa Indonesianya apa sih?) nangis atau marah.. Tersinggung aja gw suka telat. Kadang-kadang gak gampang tersinggung ada baiknya juga sih.. Tapi in any other time, jadi gw yang dimarahin gara-gara ga melakukan sesuatu.
Itu soal negative emotion, kalo yang positif sih I don’t mind to share it with anyone. Jangan-jangan gw cuma setengah stoic/impassive? Atau memang rada lamban aja menerima sesuatu?
I need a hand here, ajarin gw biar gak lamban lagi

PS: Tuh kan, gw gak nulis soal serinya INTER lawan Juve, menang lawan Messina, menang lawan Anderlecht, seri lawan Siena (ah bodoh)......
Akh Bendungan!!!! I mentioned it again...

SELAMET LEBARAN SEMUANYA!!!!!

Hari pertama:
Dirumah aja.... Menunggu kedatangan sodara2.. sorenya di tunggu oleh cucian piring yang menumpuk... Malemnya INTER seri (lagi..) untung ga kalah.. emre gw pikirannya udah di rumah aja sih.. sungkeman ma' Mamih n Papih... Jadi keburu2 tuh shoot-nya.

Hari Kedua:
Muter2 Jakarta kerumah sodara2.... Berhasil bawa mobil seharian (walopun kaya'nya belakangnya ada yang ketabrak...) dan cuma nyasar sekali.. Pulang ke rumah bawa bocah badung 2 biji..

Hari Ketiga:
Pagi pagi terganggu sama nyanyian bocah badung

"Totet..toteeeeeet!!! Suling Aing tulang maung. Di crok-crokan ku caladi diliangan ku bang bara.. Trotot Hauuum...."

F.Y.I, diulang-ulang terus selama satu minggu... :(

Hari keempat:
Jalan ke blok M main di Time Zone setengah hari...(Oh.. uangku sayang...) Gara2 bonbin penuh banget (maksudnya buat ngajak jalan 2 bocah tengil dirumah) Totat.. totet masih berlanjut...

Hari kelima sampe ketujuh:
Brangkat shooting ke tempat Dinda.. Haaaaah... Bisa bebas juga dari Totat totet selama tiga hari... Dan tugas ada juga yang keliatan wujudnya... :))

Rekap Minggu Lebaran selesai....

MILANO DERBY
Oh....Milan ta' menang, Inter pun ta' kalah.....
Bagus dah..... Ayo Ma, mo bilang apa? Inter gak kalah kualitas kan dibanding Milan...???!!!!! :)
Champion League kemaren ada 2 berita.
The Good news is.... Inter Menang 1-5!!!!!!!! :))))
The Bad news is..... yang dikalahin itu Valencia...... :((((((((
The worst news is .... Bremen menang.. Valencia jadi peringkat 3, terancam didepak ke UEFA (lagi)...
The even worst news is...... Valencia kalah lagi lawan (damn) madrid....

INTER MENANG....INTER MENANG.....!!!!!!
Akhirnya......INTER menang juga. Akhirnya INTER bisa juga menang lawan Udinese, soalnya selama gw nonton Inter blon pernah menang lawan mereka. :)))
Akhirnya Vieri nge-Gol-in juga..... Sampe sakit tangan gw tepuk tangan tiap inter ngegol-in... Plus gw kelewatan Ekstradisi dan misteri gunung merapi (eh, yg ini mah bakal tugas Sistem Penyiaran)...
INTER di TVRI bawa berkah juga... Padahal gw nontonnya sepet.. Komentatornya bojrot.. Salah sebut orang melulu (Masa' Andy Van Der Meyde gw dibilang nmanya Andy Meyd? Trus dia berkali-kali nyebutin Toldo,.. padahal dia maenpun enggak... Kasian Fontana..). Pokoknya nonton di TVRI kaya' nonton parade kuis SMS yang latar belakangnya sepak bola dah.. Komentatornya jg kebanyakan ngomentarin kuisnya ("Selamat kepada Daniel diDepok yang berhasil memenangkan TV 21 inch dengan nomor telepon 0813-xxxxxxxxxx") sampe apal...
Sayang EmRe Gw 9ak mAen, Kalo Maen pasti lebih dari 3 gol. Sayang berita bagus ini gak disertai dengan kemenangan Valencia. Mungkin gara-gara gak ditayangin di sini yah? RCTI mengapa oh mengapa?????
Looking forward to Champion League INTER vs Valencia and SERIA-A milan vs INTER!!!
Keep up the good work!!!!